How far is too far physically in a Christian dating relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. We are both 21 and completely in love. We are both Christians and very much in love with God. We go to church together and have fun hanging out together too. We generally love just being together. As we move farther into our relationship, we get more and more physically attracted to each other. Not only that, we are dealing with lust as well. I know that is a common thing in any relationship, but how do I deal with it? I don't want us to accidentally go too far. We both agree that we are going to wait until we get married to have sex, but we still want to show each other our love through physical means. When it comes to the Bible, it is unclear where right and wrong lie. It shows no definite line as to what is okay and what is not okay. How do I know if what we do is a sin? How do I know if we are on the verge of going too far? I know that sex is not an option, but what constitutes sex? Is there a definite line to not cross when you are in a relationship? I need some help with this issue. We do not want to disobey God, but we do want to be able to show each other our love physically, like kissing or whatnot. Haw far is it okay for us to go? We do hold hands and kiss and we like to cuddle up together to watch a movie. Are there any suggestions? Is there a line in which we don't need to cross, in your opinion? Thanks so much for the help. If there are any questions, feel free to ask.

Public Comments

1. I guess hmmm if u dont have sex...the actual penetration...then its ok?....I mean the Bible says to not have sex...and sex is the actual act of it going in u...lol so i guess n e thing before that is ok...i dont know....My boyfriend and i are waiting till marriage too...we arent having sex but we also lust and long for each other physically so we do other stuff lol... Goodluck!
2. I believe God understands our intentions when we act and that things are sinned based upon our convictions. By this I mean that if one does anything they feel convicted or guilty about, they are probably doing something sinful. I know for my fiance and I personally, I feel that kissing, holding hands, and cuddling is appropriate, but anything further is too much. Just don't do anything that you feel uncomfortable with, and I would say that you're fine! You have a good head on your shoulders and a good God to guide you.
3. I actually have been in this very situation. It's difficult to know for sure. I would say that anything less than sex would be ok. I do still consider things like oral sex as sex, but that is about it. If you find a real concrete answer please tell me. Thanks. -Erik
4. No sex of any kind. Yes, that includes oral. The only way to keep your relationship pure is not to put yourself into positions which would instigate sexual contact. Just because you want to express your love physically, it does not mean that you need to do so sexually. Sex and love are two separate things. Oral sex and love are two separate things. Sex is the benefit in a loving relationship. Sex can be penetration, oral, or manual (touching/rubbing private parts). Kissing, holding hands, and cuddling are absolutely acceptable. They are affectionate gestures, but they are not necessarily sexual ones. I would talk to a trusted church member, or pastor. We had a "college" pastor for the people who are around your age. They are always willing to listen and offer advice. But really, my only advice is to not put yourself in potentially bad situations.
5. Very good question, I'm also a Christian. I don't know what "too far" would be, but I know deep down you do. Whatever you believe to be too far, is probably it. I never had experienced your situation before, however. So I would not know the feelings you have, and the position you are in. If you both really have great feelings for each other, I don't think it will matter all that much, right? Just don't do something you won't otherwise do, for example, posting this question you're probably looking for a specific answer, even though deep down, u know the answer. In my opinion, if you two know you will be with each other forever, then there is time to wait, right? Anyways, best advice I usually give is to be yourself, everyone knows the answers to questions they ask...they just need reinforcement. Good Luck. P.S. I'm only 17...you are 4 years older, so my opinion might be totally irrelevant hahaha but hope I helped somehow...