so I have the possibility of dating three seemingly nice guys, but ?

I feel I need closure before I let go, I deeply care for the guy I was dating or at least think I was dating, but I also feel like he just took me out like trash, How do I move on and stop letting him have this power over my life. still want to wait for him to see if we can work it out

Public Comments

1. if you think he was treating you lik trash do not wait to see if youcan work out because it could get worse.....STAY AWAY
2. Dear Bible Girl, You have numerous recent posts I glanced at, and you seem to be an adult female needing some dating advice. So, I've pasted below some typical advice that I usually give to young ladies who are still in school. You probably already know most of it, but the general principles of dating, love, and relationships still apply. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt for you to peruse it... you might find a tidbit of help. Best Regards, - Charlie ========================= I must assume that you are a sweet young lady in Junior High School, so here's some advice for you... a general crash course all about guys, BF's, crushes, dating, love, etc. Some of it might be a bit advanced for you, but boys and girls today are growing up awfully fast. Crushes, dating, and love are all pretty closely related. Keep in mind that the decisions that you will be making over the next few years regarding these issues are critical, and they will have a huge effect on the rest of your life. Miss X... crushes, dating, and love can be confusing... extremely confusing... for adults as well as young people. That's why it is a good idea not to start dating too early. It would be advisable for you to not start seriously dating until you are about 16 or 17, and then only if your parents say OK and meet the boys first. And stay a virgin (i.e., no premarital sex) until you get married. It's also a good idea to have a rough plan for what direction that you would like your life to take. In Junior High and High School, young guys and young girls can be pretty unpredictable, and change their minds very quickly... for no reason whatsoever. That can lead to hurt feelings and heartache. You and some guy might both agree that you like each other one day, and literally the next day either one of you could call it quits. At least by age 16 or 17, most people are a bit more stable and not quite so unpredictable. Don't assume that you will marry your first crush or your first serious BF... it won't happen. The odds are literally 100-to-1 against it. Sorry! Keep in mind that the purpose of dating is generally to determine if a person will make a potentially good future spouse. Therefore, don't ever date someone that you know would not be good for you in the long term. When you are about 16 or 17, try to find a sweet and decent guy to date. Don't go for the hottest guys. Get to know him as a friend first, or perhaps he could be someone that your friends or family already knows and trusts. As a decent and trusting young lady, you will need to be aware of a few of the potential hazards of dating. These hazards certainly apply to young people as well as adults. That's also why you need to not start kissing or making out too early with guys (even though you might want to). Miss X, here are two major dating hazards for you to consider: 1. There are some guys out there (young and old) who will tell a nice girl that he loves her, just to see how far she will let him go with her body. There are guys out there who are ready and willing to use you and your body for their own selfish pleasure... and then leave... breaking your heart in the process, and possibly leaving you pregnant... or with an STD (a nasty disease in your private parts). Hopefully, you are old enough and mature enough when dating to recognize these losers, and say "No". 2. You could meet a genuinely nice and decent guy, and you both really do think that you love each other. After a few weeks or months, you both might be tempted to take off your clothes together. That would be a good way to mess up both of your young lives. It's happened to a lot of nice girls and decent guys out there. Hopefully, you are old enough and mature enough to resist this type of temptation... and the temptation can be very strong. The best way to avoid getting into trouble from either hazard listed above is for you to never be alone with your guy... anywhere. Not his house, not your house, not a friend's house, not behind the school, or anywhere else. A responsible (and awake) adult should always be nearby. You should also never attend a party where no adults are present... ever. Ideally, before you start dating, you need to make a conscious decision to remain a virgin until you are happily married. That means no premarital sex. Having sex (i.e., coupling together of your private parts with a boy's private parts) too early will make you feel sad, cheap, and make it less special (same thing with kissing in case you do it too early with the wrong boy... but kissing is much less dangerous). OK, why no premarital sex? Because having sex without marriage is going outside of the laws of man and God that civilizations on this planet have lived by for thousands of years. Because there's the unnecessary risk of excessive heartache (any break-up will cause heartache... virgin or not... but heartache will be less if you are still a virgin... that's just the way human brains are wired). Because there's also the genuine danger of an unwanted Baby... or an STD. Because your parents would very likely be extremely disappointed. Because your "no sex" rule will pretty much eliminate the players, the losers, the creeps, the clods, and the selfish manipulators. Just take a look at a random selection of the questions from girls in this category... a significant number of problems here directly involve premarital sex... coupled with immaturity, foolish expectations, and invalid assumptions. Miss X, you need to date nice guys who will treat you with dignity and respect while you are having innocent fun together during your youth. Trustworthy guys who would not ask you to do anything inappropriate. Long term, you need to find a special guy who will be honorable and be very good to you as you grow into a decent young woman. He may not be the hottest-looking guy around, but you will love him just the way he is. He should be a guy who is proud to take you home to meet his parents and his family. A guy that you would be pleased to take home to be introduced to your parents and family. A guy who will ask for your hand in marriage. A guy who is willing to stand together with you in a wedding ceremony before both of your families in church. You don't want a guy who is not honorable and just wants your body... for a while... and then he would be gone. A problem like that is much more likely to happen if you start dating too early, and have trouble recognizing good decent guys versus hot-and-attractive creeps with smooth lines. And don't ever try to date older guys who won't hesitate to ask you out. They won't hesitate to try to get your clothes off, either. Keep yourself out of trouble by thinking smart. Don't believe everything a guy tells you... watch him carefully, and evaluate whether or not his words are consistent with his actions. See if he respects you and your values. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to talk to your parents or your family about dating and boy issues as you are growing up. They know you, love you, and will certainly give you good advice. Miss X... crushes/love/kissing/sex are wonderful intimate expressions that can all be compared to fire. Both intimacy and fire can be dangerous if used improperly. Your parents are old enough to use fire safely (such as an outdoor BBQ gas grill), and they are also old enough to handle intimacy properly. When used improperly, you know that fire can cause serious damage. Intimacy, when used improperly, can also cause serious damage... such as heartache, pregnancy, and those nasty STD's. Just like you are not allowed to play with fire... you and Romeo should not start intimately kissing until you are both about 16 or 17... because that type of intimacy naturally leads to sex. At least by age 16 or 17, you'll be old enough to control yourselves. Always call the Fire Department (your parents) for assistance if a problem with fire (intimacy) develops... no matter how small the problem might appear to be. Small problems can quickly become large problems if they are not handled properly. You will be really happy when you are older, and you look back over your life... happy that you made the right decisions about finding, dating, and evaluating guys when you were young. That's pretty much the big picture that you should be looking at, Miss X. Someday, you'll make a lucky guy a fine wife. Take care, and God bless. Best Wishes, - Charlie P.S. - If you are looking to have a good Junior High and High School experience... including the BF part... then it would be a good idea for you to join some sports teams. Since you are home schooled, you'll need to look around a bit. But if you join a sports team, there will be less free time for you to dwell on BF and crush issues. Plus, you'll be in good shape, and you'll look cute in the competitive outfits at the games. Guys are absolutely fascinated by female athletes, and love seeing them in shorts and t-shirts... with minimal make-up... and they won't care if you are sweaty and your hair is a bit messed up. No kidding. You'll have more boys looking at you than you ever thought was possible. And your wardrobe costs??? Essentially zero! In addition, your Coach will be around to keep an eye on you and give good advice if you need it. Finally, you'll develop more self esteem, confidence, self control, better judgment, and you'll be much less likely to get into trouble. You'll be stronger mentally, and any BF relationships that develop will be more stable. Guaranteed 100%.
3. i am a guy and believe me, so many things will make your bf treat u like trash. since u did not give details of what he is doing to u. i can not say much. but if at this time that u have not yet exchange vows he is treating you like trash. he will do worst things afterward. Warn him, if he does not listen break up with him and never give him a second chance because he will never change.